Andromeda, famed for being tied to a rock on the beach to punish her boastful mother, fights back this week. Her vengeful spirit wreaks havoc in your life after overhearing you crow that the state fair honey eating contest was in the bag. In the spirit greek myth, you gorge yourself, solve a sphinx’s riddle and find out the whole thing was a low rent film for Zeus’s Skinamax, to pay the price for your overactive mandible. Well, that and an impacted bowel. Unfortunately Andromeda got her honey from the Dead Sea with a side of dangerous toxins. Now, your sodium ion channels are all blocked with bacteria causing excessive salivation, perspiration, vomiting and a parasthesiatic mouth. Say it with me now: Sexy. Local armies historically used this toxic sweetness to down the enemies of Xenophon, Pompey and now you. Your weakness exposed, I suggest ditching those plans to overthrow those pesky blahblahkystan countries near the great salt ditch because your Achilles heel is wide open.
Congratulations, you have Andromedotoxin poisoning.
Tip of the day: Take up cross stitch to quell the urge to coup.
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